Dallas’ annual GAYla prom is utopia for queer youth — if only for a few hours

It’s prom season again. And that means gay, bisexual and questioning high schoolers everywhere are deciding whether or not to fake their way through another typically straight event.

When combined, the horrors of the dress, the tuxedo and the opposite-gender formal dances are usually cemented in stiff smiles captured in those obligatory couples portraits.

Enter the ninth annual Dallas-Fort Worth GAYla Prom to be held Saturday.

The Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network sponsors “A Night in Vegas,” complete with casino games and prizes (like iPod Nanos). And — in honor of Proposition 22 — a Las Vegas-style wedding chapel for couples portraits. How cool is that: a queer gay wedding chapel in Dallas. For teens!

Last year, I volunteered to host the prom. Around 350 young adults (between the ages of 14 and 22) attended, and I took home five valuable lessons that I never learned in high school.

1: Savage flaming youth: When placed in their natural habitat, GLBT youngsters are like wild animals. Once it’s apparent that everyone is cut from the same queer cloth, these kids really let loose. Rockers grind to hip-hop. Left-footers dance on top of any raised surface. And shy wallflowers inch toward the center. Oh yeah, there are heaps of queer public displays of affection. It’s kind of like the Cedar Springs entertainment district — only minus the alcohol. And it’s G-rated.

2: Formal shmormal. The only fashion rule that applies to gay prom is “the more unique, the better.” There is no submission to classic prom look. However, it’s perfectly acceptable to go the traditional route: girls in ball gowns; boys in cummerbunds. But if there are any dresses, they’re usually grunged out. And tuxedos are definitely unisex attire. Jeans and T-shirts are just fine. And guys can wear all the frilly lace their little hearts desire.

3: The court is royally queer. It’s okay to be judged — as long as a crown is involved. Hanging on a wall outside the main ballroom are Polaroids of each king and queen candidate. Attendees cast ballots for the coolest looking contenders. Traditional gender rules do not apply. Girls are eligible for the king’s crown. And the boys can vie for the tiara.

4: Androgyny is way hot! “The L Word” has really impacted queer culture. And indeterminate hottie Shane (played by Katherine Moenning) was the big look-a-like winner at the 2005 prom. It was like seeing Mick Jagger in drag everywhere you looked. There were a few cutesy Alices (Leisha Hailey’s character), too. Unfortunately, no glamazon Bettes (Jennifer Beales) turned out.

5: Big D is ground zero for this rare event. There’s a void for adolescents in the gay community. A lot of these teens must feel isolated. They drive in from Tyler, Lubbock and even Oklahoma to attend a gay prom in Dallas, which signals that these types of accepting environments are few and far between. Many are too young for club hopping, and they’re too old for slumber parties. The GAYla Prom is a release for them. But what happens after they drive back to the tumbleweeds?

For one night anyway, gay is the norm. The utopia may not last long, but then neither does a jackpot. Just like Las Vegas, baby.

Jen Austin volunteers to host “A Night in Vegas,” the 2006 GAYla Prom. Hughes-Trigg Student Center Ballroom on the Southern Methodist University campus, 3140 Dyer St. May 8 from 8 p.m. to midnight. $15 advance, $20 at door. Anyone ages 14-22 can attend. GAYla Prom is a no-tolerance event.

www.gaylaprom.org.